News – Page 10

Look what has just appeared on Governors’ Field

Be sure to come and see the Christmas lights switch-on on Sunday 2nd December at 5.00pm.

I wonder if Santa will make an appearance? I do hope so because I’ve got quite a list for him!

Christmas Crackers

Q: What do computers eat for a snack? 
A: Microchips!

Brunette: “Where were you born?” 
Blonde: “The U K.” 
Brunette: “Which part?” 
Blonde: “My whole body.”

Q: Why can’t you trust atoms? 
A: Because they make up everything.

Q: Why did the fish blush? 
A: Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.

Q: Why is England the wettest country? 
A: Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there.

If the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then lefties are the only ones in their right mind.

Q: What type of sandals do frogs wear? 
A: Open-toad!

Q: How do trees access the internet? 
A: They log in.

What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?

It gets toad away.

Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
A: “Put it on my bill.”

Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Six.”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Johnny: “Because I’ve already got a cat!”

A husband and wife were driving through London. As they approached Woking, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?” She leaned over the counter and said, “Burrr-gerrr Kiiing.”

Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? 
A: Envelope.


Thanks to Andrew Ball

Woodborough Ladies

We were in festive mood for our meeting in November, with mulled wine & mince pies, when Clare Steel did demonstrations of two pretty Christmas arrangements, giving us inspiration, useful ideas and floristry tips, for us to attempt in our homes this Christmas.

At the time of this email we have not had our Annual Christmas Dinner, but hope it will have been a happy evening together.

The Committee would like to thank our members for their support during the past year and wish everyone a very Happy Christmas We look forward to enjoyable and interesting meetings through the year ahead.

Museum of Timekeeping Joins Saint Pancras 150 year Celebrations.

The Museum of Timekeeping has taken part in Saint Pancras Railway Station’s 150 year old celebrations, broadcast by the BBC. BBCs Mark Dennison of Radio Nottingham travelled to the museum’s home at Upton Hall to record an interview with museum Curator Viscount Alan Middleton who related the fascinating story of the original clock.

Built for Midlands Railway Company and opened in 1868 it was the largest single span roof in the world, dominated at the southern end by the station clock under which thousands of couples arranged to meet.

As part of the of the revamp of the station in the 1970s the clock was removed and sold to a wealthy American for £250,000. Unfortunately, the clock face was dropped during removal, smashing into thousands of pieces. Now deemed worthless the clock was purchased very cheaply by Mr. Roland Hoggard of Priory Farm, Thurgaton. near Southwell. A Railway guard and clock enthusiast, Roland brought the remnants back to Newark in his guard’s van for onward transmission to Thurgaton and over the next two years painstakingly rebuilt the clock face in concrete on the side of his barn.

As part of another station revamp 30 years later it was decided to replicate the original clock with Dents of London and Smiths of Derby commissioned to carry out the task, leading them to Roland’s barn. The reconstructed clock face was used as a template for the new 18 feet wide clock which sat proudly at the station when it was re-opened by Her Majesty the Queen in 2007.

Living into his nineties Mr. Hoggard died in 2013 when the cock was purchased by the Museum from Roland’s estate and transferred to Upton Hall. The face could not make the journey but the hands sit proudly on display in the main hall of the museum with the original workings safely stored away.

Alan told us ‘I helped to collect the clock and even if we could reconstruct the clock face it would be difficult to display but the hands occupy pride of place in the main hall and we are proud of our association with the history of Saint Pancras’.

The Crafty Chatters

A new craft group has been set up in Lowdham, meeting every Friday, 1.00pm till 4.30pm in the W.I. Hall, Lowdham.
Sessions cost £3 which includes tea/coffee and biscuits/cake. We would like crafters from all disciplines to come along and enjoy an afternoon chatting and crafting.
For those who sew we’ll have a sewing machine or two and an ironing board, knitters bring your needles and crocheters bring your hooks, colourers bring a pencil sharpener and ruggers bring your frames.
It will be a great opportunity to share knowledge and pick up tips, plus you might get inspiration to try a new craft! Open to all ages and all crafters. Phone Jane Waite 07985293351 or 01159 664907 if you have any questions.