News – Page 11

News from CORE

Our autumn courses are getting under way; there is still time to enrol for French Improvers and Spanish Beginners. We also have classes that you can join anytime including a new crochet self-help group. They meet every Tuesday morning 9.30 – 11.30 am; beginners are welcome and there will be an experienced person there to help you. There is a similar informal class meeting on Wednesday mornings 9.30 – 11.30 am for patchwork. You can either bring in your sewing machine or sew by hand. This is a great way to have fun, meet friends, socialise and learn a new skill. Call in for our brochure if you want to see the full range of our activities and services.

Over the coming months we will be updating our 5 year Business Plan and we would love to hear from the community on what you would like to see CORE provide in the future. Over the years we have expanded our services and responded to changes that have occurred both locally and nationally.

We currently try to address the issues of loneliness and isolation particularly for the older generation who miss out on social contact and integration in the community. Early action is the key to keeping healthy, both physically and mentally. As well as activities, we offer volunteering opportunities which is an excellent way to make friends and feel part of the community. Young people too can get valuable work experience in a supportive environment.

Call in and see us and let us have your views.

Parkinson’s Support Group

If you would like to know more about this friendly independent group please contact Michael & Sandra by email or Phone 01636 812399 or 07956 974024.   

We meet from 11.00 – 1.00 on the 2nd Saturday of the month at Reach UK, Prebend Passage, Southwell NG25 0JH.     

To Make You Smile……

Real Notes To British Milkmen

Dear milkman I’ve just had a baby, please leave another one.

Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk.

Cancel one pint after the day after today.

Please don’t leave any more milk. All they do is drink it.

Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk.

Milkman, please could I have a loaf but not bread today.

Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons on the dole.

Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I’ve been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks.

When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress.

Please knock. My TV’s broken down and I missed last night’s Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened over a cup of tea.

My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle?

Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me.

Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant.

Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it.

From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don’t want any milk.

My back door is open. Please put milk in ‘fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight.

Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday.

When you leave the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. P.S. Don’t leave any milk.

No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice.

Forwarded by Andrew Ball